Make the logo bigger!

What that means.

To the company

There it is. Those unimaginative words that wander into an advertising agency, in the dying minutes of a hard day’s work. The client is no dictator but that’s what his tone suggests. The last thing any creative person who is worth his salt, wants to hear at the end of the day. There are pointless heated arguments between the servicing hypocrites and the creative folks, after which the latter decides to go ahead and get the job out of the way.

To the art director

He has to put an end to his endless chatting, right away, on Facebook. He has got to stop ogling at his ex-girlfriend’s curvaceous about-an-hour-ago bikini snaps and bookmark the page for a more detailed view, later. Maybe get his binoculars next time. He has to now make the logo 25% bigger. That means the headline has to be a tad shorter.

To the copywriter

He has to wrap up the headline in less than six words. No one realizes how much agony he went through to get it right the first time. He has to drink some black coffee and take a few drags of his favourite Marlboro. And if that’s not enough inspiration, he has to look up to the skies, stretch out his hands and plead, ‘God, give me some’.

To the account manager 

He has to remain out of sight from the above mentioned souls till they have finished their job. Or he risks getting a band-aid, anywhere on his cleanly shaven face. He can keep flirting with the newly joined intern. Maybe ask her out for dinner that night. ‘Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll teach you everything I know. You have to treat me to coffee first’.

To the creative director

He can keep watching the trailer of the upcoming Spielberg flick on YouTube. ‘Man, this is going to be one awesome movie’. The phone rings. ‘Honey, I’ll be a little late. I've got some important work to complete’. He can now finish another ten levels of Angry Birds before he leaves for the day.

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The job is now finished and has been mailed to the client but the art-copy duo is not satisfied. They have to curse the client, blame the agency and drown their sorrows in a bottle of Old Monk XXX Rum. Or they wouldn't be able to sleep that night. 

So out they go for a drink to their favourite joint. A bottle down between the two and they are craving for more. The account manager is calling. His voice is urgent. The client wants the logo to be even bigger. 10% more will do. And he wants it quickly. 

That’s it. The account manager’s legs ought to be broken. And the client. They got to put this specimen in a museum. Now how do they head back to office? All they have is a battered old car. And the two drunks decide to drive back to office. 

What that means. The logo remained as it was. But both of them slept peacefully that night. And forever for many countless nights to come.

What this means. Don’t drink and drive under any circumstances.